I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
