Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
