i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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