after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
