Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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