everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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