I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
