My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
