We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
