I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
