Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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