When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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