just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
