mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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