Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
