Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
