Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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