you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
