i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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