some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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