I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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