So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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