He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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