I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
