Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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