Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
