Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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