I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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