meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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