it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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