he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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