also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize