Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
