I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
