I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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