i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Drake has all the answers
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
