what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
