Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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