is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize