the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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