your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
