What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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