Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Success! We fucked roommates!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
