Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
