Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
