I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
