I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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