the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So. Much. Porn.
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