when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
