its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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