she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
