do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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