i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hippo gnu deer
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
