some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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