So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
