mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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