I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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