I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
