It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you made out with another girl for some wings
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
